I don’t do Valentine’s Day

The other day a friend of mine posted a meme I found perfect and hilarious.

  • Person: “So what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”
  • Response: “Going to work, it’s a Thursday”

I don’t do Valentine’s Day. Yep, I’m a total love Scrooge. As a kid, I always participated in the exchanging of cheap cards for my classmates and relished in the day-long sugar high but as an adult … MEH. If my children wish to participate and be festive I’ll support it, I’m not completely awful but my husband and I just don’t do it.

Much like Christmas, Valentine’s Day has become so commercialized it borders on disgusting. I’ve felt this way for so long that I can’t even recall a time that I was in a relationship and wanted to celebrate the “holiday” in the standard romantic fashion. I’m a big believer in “it’s the thought that counts” and I’ll give you a very specific instance to support it. Back when my husband and I were dating, probably a year or so into our relationship he took me out to this great Italian place for my birthday. Excellent meal, wonderful time but at the end of the night I looked at him and said, “You didn’t get me a card?” He was completely floored! What? We just went out to this awesome (not to mention pricey) meal and you’re asking me about a card?! The thing is, as appreciative as I was for the date, I didn’t want or need that; I would much rather get a blank card with a thoughtful and heartfelt, handwritten message. By now he’s learned this about me. We’re only a couple months shy of being a decade into our relationship but it probably wouldn’t be a terrible idea to actually read “The Five Love Languages” which has been sitting on our bookshelf for the past six years. You never stop learning, right?

Any time I say “I don’t do Valentine’s Day, there is inevitably someone that looks at me like I’m some sort of monster. So I prefer spontaneity and genuine acts of kindness, you’re right, I’m awful! Call me cynical if you must but you want to do something nice or romantic? Do it any other day of the year because you want to do something special or romantic for your partner. I would much rather come home to “Hey, I know it’s a random Tuesday night, but I lined up a sitter and we’re going out on a date night” than to cave to the societal pressure of Hallmark day. And just because I’m a female doesn’t exempt me from throwing in romance or spontaneity either. I love giving gifts and finding off-the-wall ways to give them. Last year I made a scavenger hunt for my husband to find a mystery gift, spring training tickets for a Yankees game. And I think I may have enjoyed the hunt more than he did. Giving gifts can truly be a joy when you put your heart into it.

If Valentine’s Day is your thing, by all means enjoy the hell out of it. Just make sure it’s genuine, not a forced obligation.

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